As a girl growing up in Westchester, NY, I never knew for sure what I wanted my “career” to be once I graduated college. I had all of these ideas of what I should be, and what people thought I should be, but no clear vision for myself.
Before going through the grueling process of applying to college, I had envisioned a life far away from New York — in California. To me, California seemed like the winter-free fantasy land (and of course, I am talking about So-Cal and the Bay Area) that I dreaded so much about New York. It was a new place that I could venture to, that would solve all my woes, which I had always attributed to the seasonal depression caused by the ever present thought made famous by Game of Thrones, “winter is coming.” Shorter days meant less sun, and less sun meant bigger jackets and less motivation to leave the house. To my surprise, however, I ended up going to college on the same coast I was trying to escape — ironically choosing a state north of me, to attend college.
After accepting a spot at SUNY Oneonta for the class of 2017, reality set in after two weeks when I realized… “I fucking hate this place.” No disrespect to Oneonta whatsoever, but it was just NOT the place for me. I felt myself getting sadder and more unhealthy by the day, with ample parties to temporarily distract myself from how I was feeling. It wasn’t long before my plans to be pre-med felt like a pipe dream, and I began to major in Netflix instead of Biology.
I was sad and I felt alone.
At this point, about 6 weeks in, I knew it was up to me to make a decision: was I going to stay at Oneonta and be unhappy, or was I going to change my situation?
I, thankfully, decided the latter. I had gotten into Smith College as a first year applicant, but neglected the financial aid part of my application because I was so fixated on starting my life in California, at USC, which I was unfortunately rejected from. I had visited Smith during a discovery weekend for admitted students, liked it, but knew it wasn’t a real possibility for me, due to my limited foresight. Keeping the school in mind, and keeping in touch with a friend I had made there, I went to visit during my fall break, and decided I absolutely HAD to go there. So I applied, got in again, and started the following semester: I had successfully changed my situation.
Now I hope you aren’t thinking, “WOW, such a great end to a personal story of changing one’s situation!” Life hasn’t gotten any easier since going to Smith, if anything, it’s made me become more aware of the world, in a way I never thought I would. It’s made me realize just important it is to understand different disciplines and perspectives, as well as how important it is to expand your mind and your conception of reality.
On May 20th, 2017, I graduated with a BA in Economics, and a minor in philosophy from Smith College. Everyone thinks that once you graduate from college, you’re set. Newsflash: they’re wrong. Once you graduate college, you move onto the real challenge of life, which is figuring out what you want to do with it. As I type on my laptop exactly 5 months after graduating, I’ve decided to stop trying to fit myself into a career box, to read a little bit everyday, and to write to my heart’s content. Because, after all, if you don’t really know what you want to do for a “career,” you may as well learn and do something you love.
ALWAYS believe in your own abilities, and follow the light that guides you; your inner light.
